Dementia: What You Should Know

Dementia: What You Should Know

by | Aug 6, 2024 | Healthy Living

Recently, dementia has been in the news a great deal. Further, most of us have watched helplessly as a beloved relative suffered from it. Questions remain about dementia, symptoms, diagnosis, treatments and concerns.

Vascular Dementia

The brain requires a great deal of open, healthy blood vessels to provide oxygen for proper function. High blood pressure and excess blood glucose (sugar) damage arteries leading to atherosclerosis or a blockage in the brain vessel. Over of 87% of strokes are caused by a blood clot that blocks one of the arteries. Anything distal to the blockage will die without oxygen. Blood thinners are available to open up a blocked artery, but few people reach the hospital in time to be able to use them. They must be given within 3.5 to 4 hours after the first symptoms of the stroke appear.

The other 13% of strokes are caused by a rupture or tear in a damaged artery leading to hemorrhage (bleeding). Anything near or distal to the bleeding will die. Hemorrhagic strokes are treated with watchful waiting or immediate surgery.

A special x-ray called a CT of the brain will determine whether the stroke was caused by a clotting problem (87%) or ruptured blood vessel (13%).

Symptoms of a Stroke (FAST)

F          Face Drooping Ask the person to smile. Is the face drooping on one side?

A         Arm Weakness Ask them to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?

S          Speech Difficulty Is their speech garbled or confused?

T         Time to call 911! Get them to the hospital quickly to find out if they’re a candidate for a blood thinner. It can only be given within a 3 to 4.5 hour window from first symptoms).

A bleeding stroke may also cause a severe headache. Don’t ignore it!

Finally, silent tiny strokes may occur without the person even being aware of it. In fact, a great deal of brain damage may occur before the function of the brain is altered.

Neurological Dementia

There are various neurological problems that can damage the brain such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Disease. They are diagnosed with an experienced neurologist. Alzheimer’s Disease results in a buildup of harmful proteins in the brain that interfere with function. Parkinson is a disease of the nerves which develops slowly and progressively gets worse. It begins with a tremor then progresses to slow rigid movements, speech and writing impairments. Either type impairs brain function and cognitive abilities.

10 Early Warning Signs of Dementia

  1. Memory loss that disrupts daily life.
  2. Challenges in planning or solving problems.
  3. Difficulty completing familiar tasks.
  4. Confusion with time or places.
  5. Trouble understanding visual images or spatial relationships.
  6. New problems with words and in speaking or writing.
  7. Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps.
  8. Decreased or poor judgement.
  9. Withdrawal from work or social activities.
  10. Changes in mood and personality.

Diagnosis of Dementia

Neurologic exams, cognitive and functional life testing, CT and MRI scans, blood work and brain biopsies may all be used to determine the cause of a poorly functioning brain. Most aging adults with dementia are reluctant to give up independence. They often don’t comprehend their level of impairments and are reluctant to receive assistance and give up driving. The cognitive and neurologic exams are a powerful tool to assist families in understanding the extent of the brain dysfunction in their loved one.

Treatments for Neurological Dementia

A variety of medications and strategies are used to treat Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s neurological disorders. The earlier they are given, the better the long-term outcomes but dementia remains a progressive debilitating disease process. It gets worse with time.

On A Personal Note:

My Mom and mother-in-law both suffered from vascular dementia. Eventually driving and living at home had to be removed and assisted living options utilized to provide safe care. Losing the freedom to drive was probably the most difficult. I asked, Mom, if a ball flew across the road would you be able to take your foot off the gas and hit the brake fast enough to avoid hitting the small child chasing it? Her answer was no and her driving days were over. My mother-in-law needed a neurologist from the Mayo Clinic to deliver the news to her. She failed the cognitive/functional tests and her brain MRI showed massive areas of brain damage.

We obtained Medical and Financial Power of Attorney for them. It helped when we asked, Mom, who will pay your bills if something happens to you? Neurologists have a plethora of tools to determine competency and ability to carry on activities of daily living. You can contact the Alzheimer Association (alz.org) for additional information.

Finally, all of us are aging. Our brains begin to shrink and so does some of our memory and brain function. Healthier lifestyles and activities that exercise the body and brain slows the normal aging process down for most of us. However, others develop a stroke or neurological disorder that leads to dementia and may not be aware of the damage in the brain. Those sufferers are a danger not only to themselves but to society.

Interestingly, airline pilots are mandated to retire at 65 years old to protect the public from a host of aging maladies that may impact their ability to fly people safely. Perhaps it’s now time for Americans to consider age limits for governmental leadership positions as well.

So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come (Psalm 71:18).

Reference:

“Let’s Talk about Stroke Fact Sheet,” American Heart Association (2024),  https://www.stroke.org/en/help-and-support/resource-library/lets-talk-about-stroke

“What Is Dementia?” Alzheimer’s Association, https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/what-is-dementia

“FAA Tells Congress Not to Raise the Mandatory Retirement Age of Pilots Until It Can Study the Issue,” PBS News (February 2, 2024). https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/faa-tells-congress-not-to-raise-the-mandatory-retirement-for-pilots-until-it-can-study-the-issue

Jennie E. Johnson, “Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke,” Living for A Healthy Heart, LLC, (2016).

If you’d like to read my other blogs you may visit my website for more information (jenniejohnsonrn.com). Author of Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022) and Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015).

Jennie E. Johnson, “Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke,” Living for A Healthy Heart, LLC, (2016).

     I’m a Christian nurse who helps people navigate the murky waters of healthcare.


    All rights reserved 2023, Jennie E. Johnson, RN-BC, PhD

    Paperback copies of both books for sale. Email me for details at:  ask@jenniejohnsonrn.com.

    Panic Attack Disorder: Strategies to Control Adrenalin Surges

    Panic Attack Disorder: Strategies to Control Adrenalin Surges

    by | Jul 7, 2024 | Healthy Living

    The 4th of July is reminding us of the blessings of living in America. However, our divisions and international threats can easily bring on a great deal of stress and anxiety. Moments of panic may follow. While there are many things that increase one’s vulnerability to panic attacks, the root cause is an excess of adrenalin. Unfortunately, some people are much more vulnerable to those effects than others.

    Fight or Flight Response
    We were born with an automatic gift of fight or flight. When the brain recognizes a threat, it signals the release of a powerful hormone called adrenalin (epinephrine). Immediately, heart rate, pulse, blood pressure, respiratory rate among other things will rapidly increase. Blood is moved into the muscles to prepare one to run away from the threat or fight it. That response is great when in a burning building and you need to get out. However, adrenalin and the annoying symptoms linger long after the threat dissipates.

    In some people the symptoms following the adrenal surge are really uncomfortable. The heart is pounding, blood pressure is higher, and it can feel awful! The discomfort is frightening and further increases adrenalin making the annoying symptoms even worse.

    Patients have described it to me like they’re having a heart attack. Appropriately they head to the ER only to be told the cardiac tests were normal. It’s confusing for sure. We instruct patients who have the symptoms of a heart attack to do exactly that…head to the ER to get checked.

    A Review of the Symptoms of a Heart Attack:

    –Any discomfort from the chin to the naval, into the back or the jaw or arm.

    –Shortness of breath.

    –Unusual fatigue, lightheadedness, cold sweat.

    If you experience any of these symptoms…seek medical help immediately.

    However, there are a lot of organs in these areas which can also cause similar symptoms. If the tests come back normal it’s helpful to ask about a potential panic attack issue.

    Panic Disorder

    Panic Disorder is characterized by episodic, unexpected panic attacks that occur without a clear trigger. Panic attacks are defined by the rapid onset of intense fear (typically peaking within about 10 minutes) with at least four of the physical and psychological symptoms.

    The abrupt surge can occur from a calm state or an anxious state.

    1. Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate.
    2. Sweating.
    3. Trembling or shaking.
    4. Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering.
    5. Feelings of choking.
    6. Chest pain or discomfort.
    7. Nausea or abdominal distress.
    8. Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint.
    9. Chills or heat sensations.
    10. Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations).
    11. Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself).
    12. Fear of losing control or “going crazy.”
    13. Fear of dying.

    No wonder people feel like they’re having a heart attack.

    Tips to Control Adrenalin Surges

    As frustrating and frightening as panic attacks can be there are ways to shut down the adrenalin surges. It’s helpful advice for all of us who are faced with a stressful event. We can learn to lower the amount of adrenalin released which will help us to maintain a healthier blood pressure, heart and brain. The trick is to stop the cycle.

    –Remind yourself what this is…an adrenalin surge and you can control it.

    –Take some slow deep breaths.

    –Get up and move.

    –Call a friend.

    –Focus on something beautiful.

    –Turn on a program you usually enjoy.

    –If you’ve been described medication…take it.

    –Pray for relief.

    –Speak to your spiritual advisor or a cognitive behavioral counselor.

    While adrenalin works great if you need to run away from a predator, too much is a real nuisance if it’s triggered by a rude person on the telephone, an argument with your spouse or worries over an ever-changing dangerous world threat. Remember that some people are simply more sensitive to adrenalin surges than other people. You’re not crazy. Prayer is the most powerful antidote for me…may it be for you as well.

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

    I hope you had a fun and blessed 4th of July with your friends and family.

    Reference:

    “Warning Signs of a Heart Attack,” American Heart Association, (December 5, 2022). https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/heart-attack/warning-signs-of-a-heart-attack

    Guillermo Firman, “DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria for Panic Disorder,” MedicalCRITERIA.com (August 27, 2020). https://medicalcriteria.com/web/panic-disorder/

    Jamie Smith, “How Can You Stop a Panic Attack?” Medical News Today, (November 30, 2023). https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321510 .

    Jennie E. Johnson, “Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke,” Living for A Healthy Heart, LLC, (2016).

     I’m a Christian nurse who helps people navigate the murky waters of healthcare.

    If you’d like to read my other blogs you may visit my website for more information (jenniejohnsonrn.com).

    Author of Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022) and Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015).


    All rights reserved 2023, Jennie E. Johnson, RN-BC, PhD

    Paperback copies of both books for sale. Email me for details at:  ask@jenniejohnsonrn.com.

    Sleep Apnea & Restless Leg Syndrome: Is Tossing & Turning Keeping You Up at Night

    Sleep Apnea & Restless Leg Syndrome: Is Tossing & Turning Keeping You Up at Night

    by | Jun 13, 2024 | Healthy Living

    It’s estimated that 65% of Americans don’t get the recommended 7 to 9 hours of sleep at night. Many are impacted by sleep apnea due to an obstruction in the airway, but others may have a sleep disorder called Restless Legs Syndrome. It’s more common than Type 2 Diabetes and tragically few know that they have it. It’s estimated that 8% of the population suffer from this neurological condition. Of those 3% need medication to control it to improve their quality of life.

    Importance of Sleep
    It’s vital to get between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night for good health. During certain stages of sleep the brain clears the metabolic debris from daytime usage which helps prevent dementia. In addition, the immune system destroys abnormal cells that could lead to cancer and fights infections. Two chronic reasons that good sleep is disrupted is either sleep apnea and or restless legs syndrome. Both can be present at the same time.

    Sleep Apnea
    Sleep apnea results in times throughout the night when you literally stop breathing. The brain detects the low oxygen level and stimulates the release of adrenalin to wake you up. You resume breathing and improve oxygenation but at a price of higher blood pressure, heart rate and a host of other adrenalin side effects. Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) devices deliver small amounts of pressure to keep the airway open.

    Restless legs syndrome is still poorly understood. It’s a neurological problem coming from the brain that results in twitching and or leg movements throughout the night during certain cycles of sleep. Low oxygen in the brain may stimulate the problem or the leg movements may come from something occurring in the brain. It’s unclear but good sleep is disrupted.

    Five Characteristics of Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS)
    While loud snoring is a key sign of sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome may be less obvious as a cause for your sleep disorder. If you notice your bedding is in disarray in the morning or your partner complains of you tossing and turning throughout the night you may have it. The following are the five key symptoms:

    • You have a strong urge to move your arms and legs.
    • Symptoms are worse when you’re resting, sitting or inactive.
    • Symptoms are relieved with movement.
    • Symptoms are worse in the evening or at night.
    • You may have Periodic Limb Movements (PLM’s) which are jerking of the arms or legs that interferes with sleep.

    If you think you may have sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome don’t suffer any longer. Get it checked out. The consequences of poor sleep and chronic adrenalin surges may include stroke, stress on the heart, high blood pressure, heart disease, damaged heart valves, irregular heart rhythms, poor mood, daytime sleepiness, loud snoring, diabetes, obesity, gastroesophageal reflux disease, sexual dysfunction, frequent nighttime urination, colds, dementia, cancer, or sudden death.

    Diagnostic Sleep Studies
    There are 2 major types of sleep studies. Your healthcare provider will generally begin with a Take Home Sleep Study Test. You pick up the device and are provided with simple instructions on how to use it. At bedtime a nasal canula is applied to your nose, much like when taking oxygen. A small monitor goes on top of your chest while a pulse oxygen saturation device is attached to your finger. The equipment is returned the following morning and analyzed by a technician.

    Throughout the night data is gathered of oxygen levels, respiratory rates and snoring. It detects the frequency that your breathing was interrupted, the length of time and how your oxygen levels were altered while you slept. However, it doesn’t provide any information on restless leg activities. You need an In-house Sleep Lab Test for that information.

    The Sleep Lab Study is done in a clinic or hospital setting where you spend the night and is a much more comprehensive test. In addition to measuring oxygen levels, respiratory depth, frequency, and apneas (when you stop breathing), you’re connected to electrodes that measure neurological data. The number of times twitching, or leg movement occurs is noted and the relationship with sleeping and apnea episodes.

    What is not detected is the cause for the neurological sleep disorder. Is the sleeplessness caused by being awakened several times at night because the legs are moving? Or are the legs moving because the brain is lacking oxygen? Researchers are beginning to better understand restless legs syndrome, but much is still unknown.

    Sleep Specialists
    Most sleep clinics are run by pulmonologists who specialize in sleep apnea. It’s more difficult to find a neurologist who specializes in Restless Legs Syndrome. However, you can locate the one nearest to you via the Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation (rls.org) which also has a wealth of information. For both problems the National Sleep Foundation (thensf.org) has helpful information as well.

    Lifestyle Treatments for Sleep Apnea and Restless Legs Syndrome
    Lifestyle changes may help and are worth a try. The National Sleep Foundation (www.thensf.org) and the Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation (www.rls.org) have a great amount of bedtime hygiene ideas which may help.

    • Reduce caffeine, alcohol, refined sugars and chocolate.
    • Keep physically active during the day.
    • Avoid long naps (>20 minutes).
    • Go to bed at the same time each night.
    • Maintain a healthier weight as obesity is a leading cause of sleep apnea.

    Treatments for Restless Legs Syndrome
    Low iron levels have been associated with Restless Legs Syndrome. The typical hemoglobin blood test may look normal but further exploration with a ferritin level may show a problem. Other iron level tests are done as well to look for abnormalities. Guidelines to control RLS encourage a ferritin level >75. Low levels are treated with oral or IV iron. There are a variety of medications that may relieve symptoms, but they also have potential side effects.

    The Restless Legs Foundation has set up a website for healthcare providers to answer their questions at RLS Curbside (www.RLSCurbside.org). If you suffer from this problem, join the RLS Foundation (www.rls.org) or the national sleep foundation (www.thensf.org) for more information to advocate for resolution and better sleep.

    Bedtime Prayer
    Dear Lord, as I prepare to sleep, I thank you for all the blessings that you have showered upon me this day. Forgive me for any sins of omission or commission. Help me to rest deeply tonight so that I may be ready and eager to serve you tomorrow. In His heavenly name, our Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen

    It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2).

    If you’d like to read my other blogs you may visit my website for more information (jenniejohnsonrn.com). Author of Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022) and Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015).

    Paperback copies of both books for sale. Email me for details at:  ask@jenniejohnsonrn.com.

    References:

    “NSF Poll Highlights Strong Link between Sleep and Depressive Symptoms in US Population,” National Sleep Foundation, (March 9, 2023) https://www.thensf.org/nsf-poll-highlights-strong-link-between-sleep-and-depressive-symptoms-in-us-population/

    “Symptoms & Diagnosis,” Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation, (February 24, 2024) https://www.rls.org/understanding-rls/symptoms-diagnosis

    1. Silber et al. “The Management of Restless Legs Syndrome: An Updated Algorithm,” Mayo ClinicProceedings(July 2021). https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/action/showPdf?pii=S0025-6196%2820%2931489-0

      ã All rights reserved 2024, Jennie E. Johnson, RN-BC, PhD

    Wake Up America: Stop Childhood Trafficking

    Wake Up America: Stop Childhood Trafficking

    by | May 6, 2024 | Uncategorized

    This blog was initiated 3 years ago to inform the reader about current health-related topics that are underreported in the news; even the controversial ones. Last night My husband and I watched the Sound of Freedom. We kept waiting for the right time to view it. Sadly, we should have watched it much sooner. It was a call to action for us and I hope you’ll watch it and feel the same motivation to do something about this horrific problem facing us today.


    Childhood Trafficking

    The movie was based on the real story of Agent Tim Ballard an undercover operative for Homeland Security who served on the US Child Sex Tourism Jump Team. It’s the story of the horrific problem of child abduction that facilitates egregious sexual abuse by pedophiles. No matter what your position is on the southern border, untold numbers of children are being smuggled across it to suffer repeated sexual abuse.

    Startling quotes from the movie:

    ·      Human trafficking is a 150 billion dollar-a-year business. The United States is one of the top destinations for human trafficking and is among the largest consumers of child sex.

    ·      There are more humans trapped in slavery today than any other time in history-including when slavery was legal. Millions of these slaves are children.

    ·      It’s one of the most lucrative crimes because a single child can be forced into sexual abuse with a different pedophile 5 to 6 times a day.

    ·      God’s children are not for sale.


    The cartels are making billions of dollars on their ability to smuggle children and illicit drugs across our borders. One has to ask…why is hardly anyone doing anything to stop it? How can we sit by and allow this to happen to these little ones? God is certainly watching and awaiting our response.


    Call to Action

    First, I’d recommend that you watch the movie Sound of Freedom to better understand the issue. It’s available for free if you’re an amazon Prime Member.

    Secondly, I suggest you get involved. Find out who the do-nothing political wolves are hiding behind sheep’s clothing. Some of the worst have been in government far too long and have become corrupted by greed, yet they keep getting reelected. The wolves exist in both parties! They sing a song that they’ll represent us and vote in ways to solve problems but do the opposite. Be informed. Look at what they’ve done– not what they say they’ll do.

    In my local area, we have a state senator (elected 2 years ago) who is truly working to pass laws that reduce corruption and change government. He has a huge target on his back now and running against a wolf in our own party. Money is pouring in from out of the state to stop his effective common-sense positions on troubling issues of the day.

    I’ve decided to get involved, donate to his and other campaigns, and do what I can to get the word out. The primaries in each state provide the opportunity to eliminate the wolves within our own parties. If we all do our part, we can truly change things.

    Besides, getting involved in whatever way you can, will be good for your blood pressures because you’re actively doing something to change the world. Like it or not the US is still the leader of the free world because we’re so blessed to live in a country with so many riches. Until recently our system has served us well, but will it remain if we continue to allow evil to prosper?


    Finally, may the Lord watch over us. May the people rise up and stop all of this evil and nonsense. May we be blessed with a better Judeo/Christian government that fears the Lord as our founders intended.


    He     (Israelite King Manasseh and people) did much evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking Him (God) to anger…I am bringing upon Jerusalem and Judah such disaster that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle … and give them (the people) into the hand of their enemies (2 Kings 21: 6).

    And He did…


    I would appreciate your comments if you’ve seen the movie or what you’ve done to eliminate the wolves within your own party or government.

    If you’d like to read my other blogs you may visit my website for more information (jenniejohnsonrn.com).
    Author of Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022) and Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015).

       
    I’m a Christian nurse who helps people navigate the murky waters of healthcare.

     ã All rights reserved 2023, Jennie E. Johnson, RN-BC, PhD

    Paperback copies of both books for sale. Email me for details at:  ask@jenniejohnsonrn.com.

    Should Grandparents Discipline their Grandkids: What are the Rules?

    Should Grandparents Discipline their Grandkids: What are the Rules?

    by | Apr 14, 2024 | Healthy Living

    If you’re a parent or grandparent you’ve probably wondered what the rules are regarding the appropriate use of discipline with grandchildren. Should you, or shouldn’t you? What about those uncomfortable times when children misbehave in front of you and the parents? What if you disagree on their approach? Rather, are you afraid to be a bad guy or do you spoil them? This blog will describe parenting styles that work best and provide insight into some of these questions.

    Today nearly 7 million grandparents live with at least one grandchild <18. Of those 2.3 million are raising the grandchild. Many others are helping on a regular basis. Whether you’re a parent or grandparent it’s important to know which parenting style is the most effective.

    In 1966 psychologist Diane Baumrind identified 3 different parenting styles: Authoritarian, Permissive and Authoritative. Later Neglectful Parenting was added. A plethora of research has been conducted over the years to identify which approach has been the most successful.

    Neglectful Parenting
    This style is the unhealthiest. The child is neglected in physical, emotional and a myriad of other ways. No standards or rules are imposed. The most damaging to the child is the lack of warmth, kindness and love.

    Authoritarian Parenting
    This parent provides a bit more warmth but lacks the amount needed by the child. Mom or Dad demand blind obedience and use harsh punishments and threats to gain the desired behavior. While this style may appear to be affective, the child grows up resenting the parents and distances him or herself from the family.

     Permissive Parenting
    This parent provides an abundance of warmth but is reluctant to set rules and boundaries. The children are allowed to regulate themselves.

    Authoritative Parenting
    Research has shown that this style is the best for raising healthy, resilient loving children who will be successful in life. The parents are warm, share positive feedback for good behavior and set limits. Parents explain and reason with their children but do apply consequences for poor behavior choices. Bad behavior is not tolerated.

    Authoritative Parents May Say:

    • I take my child’s wishes and feelings into consideration before I ask her to do something.
    • I encourage my child to talk about his feelings.
    • I try to help when my child is scared or upset.
    • I provide my child with reasons for the expectations I have for her.
    • I respect my child’s opinion and encourage him or her to express them…even if they are different from my own.

    Less Authoritative Parents May Say:

    I ignore my child’s misbehavior.
    I     bribe my child to get him to comply with my wishes.
    I explode in anger toward my child.
    I punish my child by withdrawing affection.

    I don’t know about you, but many of us have probably found ourselves on both lists at one time or another. We’re human. Bad behavior and temper tantrums can be exhausting! What’s important is not that we don’t make mistakes but that we learn from them.

    As a grandmother I’d love to go back and do things differently for my own children. I have that chance now with my grandchildren. I’m not responsible for them 24 hours a day and can enjoy the time I’m with them. My gift of time gives Mom and Dad a much-needed break. I’ve learned that playing with children makes up for a lot of mistakes. I’ve also learned to frequently ask Mom or Dad permission when to provide snacks, TV time or discipline ideas as needed. We’re a team and they’re the boss. I’m updating my childhood strategies skills again and found the following resources extremely helpful:

    The New Strong-Willed Child (2017) by Dr. James Dobson
    I read this book twice when I was a young mother and again as a grandmother. While I don’t agree with all his approaches I’ve found his writing style, wisdom and storytelling timely and helpful. Child psychologist Dobson helps describe the thinking and behavior behind a strong-willed child. I firmly believe God gives each of us at least one to keep us humble. Our firstborn was so easy I couldn’t understand the big deal about raising children until our #2 barnburner  came along. He was into everything and required so much more regulating. Dobson helped me understand to say what you mean and mean what you say and follow bad behavior with immediate consequences. Our little barnburner grew up into a very loving father, husband, finance guru and head elder for his church.

    The Whole Brain-Child: 12 Revolutionary Steps to Nurture your Child’s Developing Mind (2012) by Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson

    My younger daughter and son-in-law recommended this book. They had 4 children in 6 years and were looking for helpful parenting tips in a very busy household. I loved how it helped me understand the impulse control issues of children. Siegel and Bryson’s techniques taught me how to help our strong-willed 10-year-old granddaughter stop and take a pause before she acts inappropriately.

    Sophie…I know that you’re frustrated that you can’t watch TV right now. It’s important to get your math homework done to take back to school tomorrow. Do you think that you could get your math done first and then watch TV?

    First, I’m acknowledging her emotion and that I hear her. Secondly, the mini timeout gives her a moment to let her emotions catch up with the cognitive thinking parts of her brain. If she reacts emotionally, she’ll get into trouble but if she takes a breath, she’ll have a moment to figure out a more positive coping response to a frustrating situation…a win for both of us.

    If this technique doesn’t work…then I would use the Super Nanny technique (described below). We don’t always get it right, but it’s helped us many times to avoid an escalation in troubling behavior. Taking a pause when confronted with frustrating situations is good advice for us all.

    The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So their Children Can Succeed, (2016) by Jessica Lahey

    My children also recommended this book. It was written by a teacher with years of experience with children. Lahey describes the students who succeed and those who struggle and the parenting approaches that were most effective. How many times do we bail our children out of situations they’ve created because we don’t want them to fail? She argues that consequences teach responsibility. Life will be hard for children who don’t learn to overcome failure. A boss won’t bail them out when they forget to complete a task so why do we?

    Super Nanny TV Series
    This show was truly a delightful surprise. Our children were in college when this show ran. My son and his wife watched this program before they had their family. To this day, they can’t explain why. However, they learned incredible parenting skills. They potty trained their little ones in a few days, run a tight ship, are truly fun and have 3 little ones that absolutely adore them. They credit it to God and Super Nanny. From my perspective, they’re best kept secret is that they are as tough as they are fun. I watched one episode, and I was hooked. It’s such commonsense parenting. I loved it!

    Best Tip of the Day from Super Nanny (Season 7, Episode 4)
    With Mom’s permission, we worked with our grandchildren (3, 8 and 10) that we watch 3 days a week. Following Super Nanny’s advice from this episode, we had them make a list of bad behaviors. They wrote each one on a paper plate and hung them from some thread or ribbon.

    We discussed the consequence for each misbehavior. The more serious bad behavior, the stronger the consequence. However, timeouts work for the minor infractions, even for the 10-year-old. I really loved the Nanny’s verbal techniques when intervening in a challenging situation. She said, You must use a non-conversational firm voice in simple terms while giving the child a warning.

    Sophie, look at me! If you continue to use that rude tone with me, you’ll go into time out for 10 minutes on the kitchen chair by yourself.

    If the behavior continues,
    Sophie, look at me…eyes on me…you have broken one of the rules. Go into timeout. If you continue to be rude the consequence will be greater. You’ll lose TV tomorrow.

    I can’t tell you how many young parents I’ve seen use a super polite voice when a firmer one is required to differentiate that I mean business. Watch the episode when Nanny is working with Dad. It really does work and grabs the child’s attention. This technique has worked for us time and again.

    A Word to Parents
    If you grew up and became a wonderful successful adult, it didn’t happen by accident. Someone nurtured, guided, and disciplined you in a loving kind way or you got a lot of therapy to make up for their mistakes. If you’re struggling with a discipline problem, ask your parents for their thoughts. Chances are they see it too and have a wealth of insight that may help. Don’t wait for them to approach you with their concerns. Besides you don’t have to take their advice. Thank them and let them know you’ll think and pray about it. Forgive them for their parenting mistakes, you’ll be making them too. Apologize to your children when fatigue or daily stressors they don’t understand impact your discipline. Play with them…it makes up for a lot of our mistakes.

    A Word to Grandparents
    It’s so hard to keep quiet when a little one is acting out of control, and we see the writing on the wall if the behavior isn’t corrected. God bless the adult children who ask for our advice before we have to share our concerns. Our motivation is love.

    However, remember, our adult children are living in dangerous times to be raising children. Most of us (Boomers) don’t have the foggiest clue about how the internet works and the perils today’s parents face. Pornography, game addictions, web bullying and all other atrocities are easily accessed over the internet with a cell phone or computer. So many children spend too much time on technology, robbing their social skills. We must trust and pray they’ll get the wisdom they need to deal with the harm from all of it.

    Further, children in the past who struggled emotionally in junior high often suffered from an eating disorder, now those same children question their gender. Time will tell if gender identity therapies have helped or permanently harmed. Further, parental rights are being eroded. We must have empathy for today’s parents dealing with issues we never faced. Be patient, polite and approach them with an Oreo. For every negative comment (which I hope are few) sandwich it between 2 positive ones. The medicine will be taken more easily.

    For those of us blessed to live close to our grandchildren and be in their lives on a regular basis, we must be a team, and they’re the coach. Our goals are to raise little people to do battle with all of the hurts, struggles and demons that they will face in adulthood. Let’s remember to honor one another. And where there is love, there is forgiveness for our mistakes.

     A Final Word from Me.
    Two of our children live in other states so we’re the visiting grandparents. We discipline if a problem arises, and especially if the parents aren’t around. We’re much more fun with them. However, we help our single daughter three days a week. We work together to develop strategies that are best for all 3 young children. Mom is exhausted when we arrive after battling parenting alone.

    We pick up the house, prepare meals, help with baths, homework and play with them. It’s hard work but an act of love. She thanks us for our time with a tax-free financial gift which is so appreciated on a fixed income. Recently, I heard a young man brag how his mother-in-law babysits for them several days of the week, so they don’t have to pay childcare. I wondered if he remembered her in a special way at Christmas or other holidays or just took her for granted.

    Finally, my mother-in-law was a brilliant student who gave up college to devote her life to care for her family. She taught me how to be a good wife and mother. Just before I left to care for our first grandchild she said, the best thing you can do is…keep your mouth shut and just wash the dishes. Sage advice indeed. Discipline is a challenge for all of us but a very important aspect of love. God bless you in this chapter of your lives for adult children and grandchildren are a gift from God…every single one of them.

    No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

    If you’d like to read my other blogs you may visit my website for more information (jenniejohnsonrn.com). Author of Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022) and Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015).

    References:
    “National Grandparents Day, September 10, 2023,” US Census, (September 10, 2023). https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/grandparents-day.html

    “The Authoritative Parenting Style: An Evidenced Based Guide,” Parenting Science (April 7, 2023). https://parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style/

     I’m a Christian nurse who helps people navigate the murky waters of healthcare.

     ã All rights reserved 2023, Jennie E. Johnson, RN-BC, PhD

    Author of:
    Wake Up Call 911: It’s Time to Reduce your Risk for a Heart Attack and Stroke (2015)
    Helping the Hurting: Nursing Ministry in the Body of Christ (2022)

    Paperback copies of both books for sale. Email me for details at:  ask@jenniejohnsonrn.com.